Suddenly, I remember myself again

Because of past trauma, in my early adulthood, I experience moments of derealization because of anxiety. Basically, in my case, I lose familiarity with my surroundings and things and memories feel like a dream. I question the reality of things, and even at times, my brain blocks moments of conflict. Sometimes I know something happened, but I can’t access the memories like there is a wall between now and then. You can look at this occurrence in more detail if you google it, but again, this is how I experience it.

Often, this makes me feel foreign to my own life story.

These are the things I tell my soul in moments like these:

Trust in the unchanging nature of God

James 1:17 (NASB)

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow

Trust in your unchanging identity in Christ

John 1:12-13 (NASB)

12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name, 13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of a man, but of God.

I look to You and suddenly, I remember myself again…

“Thank you, Jesus, for giving me an identity that goes beyond this world. Thank you for making it so that I can come back to you through your sacrifice. For your unending love going beyond memories and fears. I love you, Lord.

Amen.”

Here's a cover I made a few years ago of the song "Known" by Tauren Wells